Sundays are funny, aren’t they? I’ve always been fascinated by what “Sunday” means to people, because it seems as if there are trends to most people’s “sundays” but then again every person, every family has different routines that they stick to, right? People are beings of routine, aren’t we? If you think about it, there is probably at least one area of your life that you routinely do( the same thing, enjoy the same food or drink, drive the same route to get somewhere that you go often…. we seem to like routines, even crave them at times. In my opinion, I crave routine because it’s stabilizing. Feeling unfamiliar and all “discombobulated” (as my grandpa likes to say) is almost more exhausting than being in a routine? Why is that?
I recently moved in with my grandparents, and am living with them for a short season while I complete my required internship for music therapy. And I have found myself, even though they are my immediate family, having gotten used to my own sort of Sunday routine throughout my life, it’s taken me a little while to get used to their Sunday norm. So here I sit this Sunday morning, at an outside table at their church while they are in their normal sunday class and I find myself “routined” to this little hour and a half of quiet thinking/journaling/writing/praying/working/dreaming time.
I’ve always been an observer of people, and I love to people-watch. Just a few minutes ago a family sat next to me and the mother was quite out-of-sorts it seemed due to some schedule changes that will take effect next week at this church due to a new pastor coming in, and the service times changing. And as I overheard her (which wasn’t too difficult because she spoke quite passionately) it struck me that she and I were(are) both processing the same life-concept, even though we are not at all interacting or connected one bit. For me, I have started living in a totally new place and even though it’s with family, it’s a different environment than I’ve ever known, and to be honest it’s been a little challenging over the last couple months. I dearly love my grandparents, and I chose to look into completing my internship here so that I would be able to spend an extended amount of time living with them. It has been a huge blessing, in ways that I don’t have the words to articulate (not yet at least) and yet the moments that I find myself irritated or frustrated I feel bad for being frustrated because I want to be here to help them. The thing is, I’m discovering, we are such creatures of routine (at least I am) that something sort of close but just enough different from what I know as “my norm” is very discombobulating (I think Grandpa’s choice word here fits quite well).
So on this Sunday, at my lonely table corner outside EV Free church in Fullerton, CA, my heart feels overwhelmed with conviction and awe and thankfulness for grandparents. 🙂 This morning in church I found myself overwhelmed when I noticed myself in a room filled with people at least thirty-forty years older than me and I couldn’t even hear my own voice singing because of stereo vibrato in every direction. It was a little humorous and but also WONDERFUL, because really I was surrounded by people who have many many more years of life than me, years experienced with deep resounding faith that you can hear in their praise.
My grandmother has a beautiful voice, and she has used that voice to offer praise to her Lord for 87 years. She may not particularly like some of the more “contemporary” praise music, but to hear her sing hymns it is a truly awe-inspiring moment, because those words are not just words. They are life-statements and there indeed has been MUCH life in her years. You can see it in her face, you can hear it in her voice.
We all are the same in this way, I believe. No matter what one’s everyday life looks like (which as we all know on a personal level changes often throughout our years) there are routines that we get into and the “life” that we give into those “routines” is what matters. Do you remember who said, “it’s not the number of years in your life, but the life in your years?” That was Lincoln. And he didn’t have that many years, but he definitely put some life in those he did. I am reminded this morning that it’s not the “routine” that matters, and getting hung up on things changing in our routines isn’t worth the emotional wear and tear. I want to live not thinking about going through my routine, or getting into a “good routine” but just being present in the current day and time and ready for any change that may come. I’d like to be a woman who sees change on the horizon and says, “yes please.”
May you enjoy this sunday morning and know that you are loved today.